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Chapter Fifteen
Korvinox's Foul Fortress of Foolish Falacies * With the Persona 5 soundtrack ready, Bongo and the Battalion charge into Korvinox’s horrible citadel of horror. * Bongo, leading the charge, offered his encouragement to the bois, “This is it fellas. Time to take that bastard down!” * Kaw looked at the tallest spire of the massive fortress, “Tsk tsk. That hive-boi’s gonna get it!” he seethed. Spotting a nearby window, he prepared for the swooce. * Aigee clenched the Whispering Tree Amulet around his neck and said, “Korvinox’ll get what’s coming to him!” * Skimp sharpened his daggers and slyly remarked, “Yeah he will! The pants are goin’ on his head!” * BIG Nadine charges his ki and asks, “Eh, which ki attack should I use to take Korvinox down with?” his voice akin to that of a Woodsman, “I’m thinkin’ the classic Hammer CONK!” * But suddenly, as they’re approaching the fortress, the bois are all overcome with a strange sensation. All at the same time, the bois hallucinate their biggest fears. * BIG Nadine loses all of his sight briefly. And when he regains it, he sees that his friends are gone! “Eh lads? Where’d you’all go?” he grumbled. And suddenly, before him appeared an exact clone of himself! Egads! “What the?!” BIG Nadine said before engaging in combat with the imposter. The imposter spoke many unkind words to Nadine, saying that he has abandoned his monk ways, and he will pay for doing so! An intense session of booshes and conks proceeded, with both sides giving it their all! With hammer blow after hammer blow, the battle began to slow as BIG Nadine and the imposter grew exhausted. “You’ve strayed from the path of the monk, James!” the imposter wailed. And that sealed the deal. Upon hearing the imposter misgender him, Nadine flew threw the air, honey-gloved fist aiming right for the doppelganger’s forehead. CONK! The faker’s skull was caved in by BIG Nadine’s might. With the imposter defeated, Nadine continued forward into the fortress. * Bongo’s vision turns to complete darkness. A horrible still silence fell over him, the kind of silence that often lead to disaster. But suddenly the darkness and silence was interrupted by visions of each of Bongo’s friends being horribly slain; Skimp getting whipped to death, Aigee being chopped to gooey pieces, Kaw being flayed alive, James being electrocuted, Thgil being crushed to death. And all of these horrible atrocities committed by none other than the hive-leach himself, Korvinox. Upon seeing these images flash before his eyes, Bongo regains awareness of his surroundings, but he is no longer in Abbadon; alas, the goliath is stood in the clearing in Shardstone, the very same one that the bois rescued Ezekiel in. And, just like back in Shardstone, Bongo’s sees a vision, but not of Lugg, of Korvinox beckoning him to the Twin Peaks, Come to the Peaks, Bongo!, he hissed in the druid’s mind. Bongo, having no reason not to, journeyed to the Peaks where he battled Lugg weeks prior. Back at the Peaks, with The End of Day's Theme playing, Bongo sees thousands of corpses all over the ground; he recognized almost all of the bodies as people he had met over the course of his life: all of the bois, Disgusting, Dyrli, Edvard, Honey Bunny, Ezekiel, Bourbon, Glezdon, Slickback, Oakback, Burt, Lusitae, Terin Stormwall, Telvar Ironmine, and even Vulkyn! And stood at the base of the mountain was Korvinox battling to the death with Lugg! “Take a look around you Bongo! What do you see?” he gurgled as he struck the killing blow to Bongo’s brother. For some reason, Bongo got an urge to mention a place called McDonald’s. “You dastardly fiend!” Bongo cried, “You’ll pay for this!” he roared as he charged toward the gross with his Flare Spear pointed outward. The loser dodged and began monologuing once more, in summation, he said something about how cool he thought he was. Then he resurrected Lugg and forced him to fight his brother. Bongo reluctantly set his brother to rest then went to attack grossman. “I think not!” he squeaked as he attacked Bongo with something or another that nearly killed him, knocking him to the ground. “Ha! Pathetic weakling!” Korvinox squealed, “When will you learn!?! When will you learn?! That I am unstoppable!!!!” his voice cracked higher and higher with every word he spoke, his voice got so high that his words were barely intelligible. He turned his back to the goliath and began walking away. Bongo saw this to be the perfect opportunity to try out a new spell. “STOP RIGHT THERE!” Bongo cried as he cast Climbing Beanstalk right underneath gross guy. The beanstalk launched out of the ground and wrapped itself around Korvinox, trapping him in a tangled mass of vines. “NOO!” gross idiot cried, “MY ONE WEAKNESS!” as he exploded in a burst of gumdrops. Bongo regained consciousness and continued forward into Korvinox’s fortress. * Kaw blinks in surprise as he abruptly realizes he’s standing in the center of a vast chamber, his comrades nowhere in sight. The walls, floor, and ceiling are made of jagged black glass. At the opposite side of the chamber, sitting upon a throne, is none other than the slug-boi himself, Korvinox! Kaw feels his blood run cold at the sight of his old enemy. Nasty rises from his throne slowly and hisses with a broad grin, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day, tengu. Words cannot describe the humiliation I felt when you defeated me all that time ago at my cult’s feast. ME! Korvinox! Defeated by a lowlife beggar and a mangy hyena! You might be wondering how exactly I managed to survive after our little “fight” all that time ago. Having been impaled through the chest with my own scythe, I was certain that my death was nigh. But rage boiled within me. I refused to die this way, slain by some filthy vagrant! This rage is the only thing that kept me alive. I drug myself to the shores of the Zorendal Empire, where I discovered an old fisherman. After disposing of him, I claimed his boat and sailed to Phylum. Wounded and weak, I stumbled through the streets of Miraj aimlessly until I was eventually targeted by the Sand Striders. They attempted to rob me, the fools. I murdered their leader with ease, then took command of the bandits. Our mistress Urgathoa was so impressed by my survival that she offered to make me her Champion. I accepted of course, and was granted unbelievable power. All this time, the rage boiling inside me has not faded. I vowed to seek revenge upon the blasted tengu that nearly took my life. And now, finally, the time for vengeance has come!” ' * '''Korvinox grabs a pair of glass shards from his throne and firmly grasps them, spilling blood from the palms of his hands. Kaw, who is attracted by the scent of fresh blood, charges across the room, swinging his scythe like a madman. Korvinox easily dodges Kaw’s scythe attacks, then summons a pillar of flame, roasting the crow to a fine crisp. Realizing that IT’S NO USE, Kaw puts away the bones of Scazzle and instead attacks with the whip that’s built into his mechanical leg. He strikes Gross in the ankle, but just as the crow is celebrating his victory, Korvinox suddenly casts paralisis upon Kaw. As crow-boi lays helpless upon the ground, Eew slices him to pieces with his glass shards, laughing the whole time as tengu blood splatters across the walls. This brutal torture seemingly has no effect upon Kaw. However, when Korvinox slices off the crow’s beloved robotic crow-leg, Kaw is consumed with unholy fury. It would seem that Kaw’s biggest fear is being separated from his dear robotic appendage. “YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!” he roars. Korvinox laughs, “What’re you gonna do about it?” Kaw answers this question with the loudest screech he can muster. This screech is so loud that the glass chamber is shattered, and Kaw finds himself squirming violently on the floor of Korvinox’s fortress, his wounds gone and his robotic leg still intact. Although he is no longer in any immediate danger, Kaw continues to squirm upon the floor, for it is simply the only thing he knows how to do. ' * 'Skimp opens his eyes and finds himself standing in the middle of a clearing at midnight with fog all around making it so that Skimp, even with his superior night-vision and keen eyes, can barely see ten feet in front of him. He points his rat nose to the sky and starts to sniff his way through the mist but stops when a whole battalion of slave catchers encroach around him and shove him in their big ol’ bindle. The captain chortles, “We got ‘em lads. Before we take him back to Baronel an’ let his master have ‘im, lets ‘ave some fun.” They begin beating the bindle holding Skimp with the hilts of their weapons and kicking him around until he can’t take anymore and blacks out. He comes to in a dirty, dank cell. He hears the soft drip drip of the rain leaking in through the roof. At first he can only lay their, hopeless and defeated. He is to be enslaved once again and he is powerless to stop it. After a while he begins to remember his courage and his friends he fought so hard beside. This gives him the hope to continue onward and he attempts at first to open the locked cell door with his mechanical tail but it is too thicc (He decides to confront Gyystoph about this when he got back to Koryn). He notices various small rocks around his cell door and manages to chip one down into a semblance of a lock pick and breaks out easily. There was the sound of cracking whips and evil giggling coming from down the hall so Skimp decides to sneak over and scout out the situation. What he sees fills him with such rage that he can barely keep himself still as he prepares for the sneak attack: a crystal ball filled with a moving picture of Skimp tied to a whipping post taking lash after lash, spilling his blood over the cobblestone below. Skimp quickly dispatches the first guard with a well times stab from the mechanical tail and stands triumphant over the second as the whimpering fool cowered on the floor. Skimp proceeded to pluck out the man’s eyes before dispatching him and heads for the door, making sure to peek through the lock first, and steps through fading into the black. ' * '''Aigee-Gorg awakens in a void alone. Unsure of what to do. The Goo stares forward as he sees his friend Kaw standing in front of him. Gorg calls to The Bird curious of what the Krook is up to. He does not answer the goo but since Aigee is used to such treatment he thinks nothing of the silence. Suddenly Kaw grabs out his musket with one deformed arm and prepares to fire. The bullet rushes past Aigee with a clear miss. Aigee looks behind him to see what he fired at ,but nothing was there. Upon realizing Kaw had malicious intent. Aigee prepared for battle and in a single use of thunderous drums Kaw collapsed upon the ground. Upon seeing this Aigee grew hungry as he sliced the bird-leg off and began to eat. As everything disappeared, Aigee saw his true friends as he smiled upon what he had just done. * Each of the bois step bravely out of their hallucinations without missing a beat, share a determined look, and walk silent and unwavering toward the heart of Korvinox’s castle, deep into the fortress of freakshows. Skimp had somehow materialized a voodoo doll of himself out of nothing and was petting it with his rat hands. The bois are completely faffled when they stumble upon a gigantic tree of pulsating flesh, and multiple sleeping Harambos. They also find what appears to be the source of the scourge: a bloody swamp, perhaps the property of an ogre. The stench of the swamp is horrendous. Kaw dips a finger into the disgusting liquid to see if it is acidic. The swamp seems to be safe, and so Kaw dives headfirst into the disgusting water and goes for a swim. “Come on in, bois, the water’s fine,” says the foul crow-man. ''' * '''The rest of the bois are repulsed by the filthy crow, Aigee-Gorg in particular, who is TRIGGEDED by Kaw’s sour stench. * Bongo and the Buccaneers decide to rest for the night to regain their health and spells uses in a convenient nearby shack. The short nap was mainly for the wimpy spellcasters who need their beauty sleep or they get very grumpy and can’t do anything. The non-spellcasting MEN, Skimp and BIG Nadine (despite the fact that Skimp has spells he occasionally uses and Nadine has ki points he must restore via sleeping), had to be the lookouts and make sure that nothing came and gobbled up the tender little bois. * After the girls put on their morning make-up, the party made their way to the blood-swamp water once more to investigate further. Aigee, sick of Skimp always scouting ahead, holds his hand up and giggles, “Hey can I try?” Skimp shakes his head and agrees only so Aigee can learn his lesson about why he should never scout ahead. ''' * '''Goo-man, so happy that Daddy Skimp allowed him this privilege, leaps forward only to step on a pressure plate (Which Skimp would’ve maybe avoided) unleashing thousands of bot flies from the statuary. Surely Aigee will never scout ahead anymore. * The flies form two swarms; one goes for Aigee and the other flies forward to attack the rest of the Bois. Bongo, Kaw, and James make short work of the first swarm but poor goo is left by himself and is killed by a couple of houseflies. He then falls in the water where the current takes him straight to Hell to be raised as Lucifer’s pet, eating only doghouse burgers for the rest of eternity. Unfortunately this is only wishful thinking and Aigee lives. The surviving bois finish off the other swarm only to be ambushed by two Patrick Stars. They stand and salute as they are cut down by the mighty adventurers. * With their foes lying dead upon the ground, the bois investigate the room. BIG Nadine assesses all that he can. Kaw returns to his homeland of the blood swamp, splishing and splashing in the foul water like a greasy maggot in a pot of boiling spaghett. ''' * '''Aigee is put to shame for his clumsiness. * Taking a better look around the room, the keen eyes of Kaw notice two markings upon the wall, one to the left of the room and one to the right, one a sword and one a shield. He backstrokes over to the leftmost symbol squirting water out of his mouth the whole way and finds a door with a lever to the side. Clearly the noxious fumes have finally gotten to Kaw’s brain and he pulls the lever without a second thought. Water rushes out of the now open doorway and Kaw lets out a mighty screech as he is flip-flopped upside down over and over by the gushing torrent of water. ' * '''Kaw squirms back into the doorway, only to find a rack of rusty weapons and a locked cage. “Locked, eh?” Kaw mutters to himself. “Who do I know that’s good at unlocking things? Hmmm...” The crawly-boi snaps his fingers as he remembers that Skimp is pretty nifty when it comes to lockpicking. “GET OVER HERE BOY!” screams Kaw, summoning barbed chains and sending them to snatch the rat-child. Skimp manages to swiftly dodge the first two grabby-chains, but the third chains slipped around his ankle and dragged him, kicking and screaming, into the depths of the disgusting blood swamp. “THIS IS MY SWAMP!” gurgles crawly-boi. ' * '''Skimp is revolted (and slightly aroused) at the nasty sticky liquid and proceeds to vomit profusely in Kaw’s mouth and after many back and forth arguments, the two compromise and Skimp unlocks the cage. Kaw dives right under, eyes and mouth open wide, and finds a nifty leather suit with some cool leather pieces that shield some types of damage. However, after soaking in the blood swamp for many moons, the suit smells even more horrendous than the murky water. Kaw immediately dons the leather armor, calling it the “stench suit”. He tosses his boneless-leather armor at Aigee, who slaps it onto his body with a squeal of joy. Skimp is used to the stench of the slave quarters so he can stand Kaw’s smelly smell but still steers clear. * With the stench-suit shebacle settled, the bois turn their attention to the second door, marked with the symbol of a blade. The way is blocked with fallen rubble and Aigee uses his teleportation spell to slip Kaw in and leaves him there to rot for all eternity. But Kaw has a trick up his sleeve. He dives down to the bottom of the room, grabs a shiny sword, then uses the spell meld with stone to slime through the fallen rubble, reuniting with the rest of his “acquaintances”. ' * '''Kaw tosses the shiny sword at Bongo, who slaps it onto his body with a squeal of joy. ' * '''A knowledge check was rolled and the Bois inferred that the sword was actually made of adamantine, one of the hardest metals ever to be discovered. * During this calm period, the bois summon Urtarr using the bell he gave them. The gang discusses the purchase of various things and such and whatever. ''' * '''BIG Nadine purchases an obscene amount of hats. “SHOW ME YOUR BEST HAT SIR!” he yells. “NOW SHOW ME YOUR SECOND BEST HAT. NOW YOUR THIRD. NOW YOUR FOURTH. SHOW ME YOUR FIFTH BEST!” he went on and on for hours down the list of Urtarr’s best hats. * Bongo purchases a single hat, a red and grey horizontal striped toboggan (well he didn’t really buy it, Urtarr just gave it to him for free). He swiftly slipped the hat on and, for a brief second, he experienced an odd out-of-body experience in which he was an young lad sitting in his friend’s house playing a stupid game, wearing that same hat. Bongo merely shook this odd feeling off. * But then Bongo aks Urtarr what has become of Gyystoph (because Urgathoa drew a card from the deck of many things for him). Urtarr chuckles slightly and said, “Oh, he’s alright. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but he’s definitely changed.” The bois demanded that the shopkeep give them more information, but he refused, then left. * The bois now have two options: they can either take a passageway to the left, or a passageway to the right. Skimp scouts down the left passage, and discovers a room full of hooded cannibals feasting upon hundreds of dead, rotting bodies. The rat scurried back and told the bois what he saw, then he scouts down the right passage. He returns a moment later, seemingly disturbed by something, and says, “There’s nothin’ down there. Let’s go kill those cannibals.” * “What’d you see down there?” bellows Bongo, snapping his fingers, pointing down the right passage. But Skimp will not say, so the rest of the bois charge down there to see for themselves, despite Skimp’s screeches of protest. What they find is quite startling, truly a terrifying, bizarre sight. ' * '''Looming before them is a massive wall of slimy, squirming flesh. And halfway consumed by the flesh wall is none other than Dyrli, the kind wife of Disgusting. “Help me!” she wails. “I don’t know how I got here! There’s only a single weapon that can free me from this wall, but it was taken by a bunch of minotaurs! Please, go get the weapon and save me!” ' * 'Rather than immediately embarking upon the quest to retrieve the weapon from the minotaurs and save Dyrli’s life, our brave heroes demand, “WHAT’S IN IT FOR US?” Dyrli is flustered, and continues to plea for her life. “I WANT FREE STUFF FROM YOUR STORE!” Aigee-Gorg roars, and the rest of the bois agree starting up the mighty chant, “FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!” ' * '''“Fine! Whatever you want!” Dyrli squeaked. “Just get me out of here!” * Kaw got busy slishing the flesh wall with his beak and scythe, attempting to chisel out Dyrli. But to Sauce’s surprise, the fleshy wall immediately regenerates! If only the true Greasy Slisher was here. * Not wanting to have to fight a bunch of stupid minotaurs, Bongo SLAMS his hand on the ground right below Dyrli and casts Hallow, turning the immediate 40 foot area into a holy site, hoping that that would free Dyrli from the flesh wall. An almighty groan fills the room as the flesh begins writhing and squirming around to form a giant fleshy ooze hellbent on devouring our five brave pathfinders. If only Thgil was here to save the day! But alas, the mighty wolf was off on his own adventure. * The Wall o’ Flesh comes to life and begins attacking the bois!! Zounds!! Faffielf! Sus with the swooce!!!! As the bois strike the wall, Dyrli manages to squirm her way out of the flesh. Hooray! But then she transformed into a sweaty red-robed cultist! Oh no! * As this fearsome battle unfolds, the classic Bongo and The Bois A E S T H E T I C Theme starts blaring. * “How-sa we-sa gonna beat this-a enemy-sa?” Aigee asks in his classic Gungan accent. * “Leave it all to me!” says Smelly Kaw, casting Slay Living upon the accursed Wall o’ Flesh. But while attacking the Wall o’ Flesh, Smelly Kaw is completely oblivious to the fact that the red-robed cultist is continuously stabbing him in the back of his greasy head with a poisoned dagger. BIG Nadine goes in for the GOOSH, but he is sickened by Kaw’s splendid stench, and vomits onto the nearest person, who just so happens to be the poor, unsuspecting ratboy Skimp. ''' * '''But before the bois get a chance to beat down the Dyrli imposter, she turns herself invisible and skitters away. Coward! * Smelly Kaw strikes the final blow upon the Wall o’ Flesh, an almighty smack that jiggled around like a bowl full of jelly, and the beast collapses upon the ground like a Spirit Worm that has been drained of its precious SCHOOL SPIRIT, the most powerful fuel source in existence. If only the pathfinders could harness this incredible source of power, then they could defeat Korvinox with ease! But alas, Buzzkill Sam spends all his time on his Chromebook during the pep session, draining all of the SCHOOL SPIRIT. It also didn’t help when Mrs. Mason savagely KICKED the defeated Spirit Worm, who was helpless upon the ground, unable to fight back against the enraged Art Teacher. ' * '''With the wall gone, a new passage has opened up for Bongo and the Brawlers, a passage that leads to a small room with a small raised platform in the middle. Upon the platform was five raised pedestals arranged in a square formation with the fifth standing solo in the middle. Aigee’s greed rears its ugly head once again as he spies a large white spherical crystal mounted upon the middle pedestal. He creeps on over much like a creature sneaking through a mud puddle in the woods, and hovers his gooey mitts for just a moment before attempting to snatch it up in the bindle. As soon as Aigee’s nasty hands come into contact with the milky white jewel, the door slams shut locking BIG Nadine out of the room and trapping the rest of them in the room which is now filling up with acid. ' * 'Kaw does not care about anyone else and immediately melds into the stone wall and comes face to face with BIG Nadine who does not look happy. ' * '''Aigee, who is still not right in the head after the brain jacker attack, does not even notice the acid. Instead he spots a small finger sized hole on each of the other four pedestals. “Hey Dad, watch what I can do,” he squeals to Bongo, hoping that senpai will notice him, and raises his index finger as high as he can and plunges it straight into the hole. Aigee begins crying as his finger is instantly sliced off and his whole arm is turned to stone so he can’t pull away. * Bongo immediately whips out his trusty Adamantine Sword in order to cut off Aigee’s stone arm, but the weakling goo creature screams in protest. “No! Don’t do it!” he cries, tears streaming down his face then absorbing into his goo skin. Time is running out and the bois need to do somethin’ quick!!!!!!! Skimp tugs on Bongo’s big toe and points out that the once pure white stone is now filling up with blood. Bongo does not hesitate as he slams his finger into the nearest hole and does not even flinch when his whole finger is lopped off. Skimp thinks for a moment, noticing that there will still be one more hole left that needs a finger sacrifice but then follows Bongo’s lead a plugs one of the holes. ''' * '''Kaw pokes his head back out of the stone for a second before going back to BIG Nadine. “Ehh, they’re alright,” he lies with a nasty chuckle. * The acid is now all the way up to their ankles and is eating away at their flesh. * “KAW GET IN HERE!” Bongo cried to Kaw behind the door, who plugged his ears and is saying “La la la, I can’t hear you!” BIG Nadine began banging on the door with his ki attacks, trying to get in so that he may help his friends, but alas, the door was too strong even for the world’s most powerful panda. “I told ya, they’re fine in there, don’t waste your strength.” Kaw hissed to the irate panda, snickering to himself as he wrung his filthy hands, imagining the rogue, bard, and druid slowly melting to death. Nadine didn't believe the conniving crow, so he kept slamming into the door, roaring his friends’ names. * The acid was threatening to eat away their big ole ding dongs (except Aigee’s which was retracted inside of his body) when the blood had finally filled the gem to the brim. The acid remained for a moment then began to drain away leaving the legs of Bongo, Skimp, and Aigee red and very raw. Their arms turned back into flesh and they stepped back cradling their wounded hands. Kaw steps through the now open door looking quite proud of himself and is immediately pummeled into the ground, dead as a doornail. “Eyy, what’s the big ide?” the crow-man asks incredulously, uttering his last breath before he succumbs to the intense pummeling. Aigee grabs the crystal from the raised platform and stuffs it into his bindle. * Dragging Kaw with them, the bois head back to the old shack in order to rest up and restore their health, spells, and ki points. ' * '''Unfortunately Kaw was still within an inch of death and heals up to full the next day. ' * '''After a restful sleep in the sweet sweet Abbadonian nights, the Bois wake up and decide to investigate the other room that contained the cannibal feast. In the room, the previous carnage from the feast remained on a great, fifty foot long table, but the cannibals were nowhere to be found. The lecherous Kaw sees this as a good opportunity to feast, so he approaches the pile of body parts, ready to dig in. The rest of the party makes sure to stay at least ten feet away from Kaw because of the reeking odor that constantly emanates from his nasty crow-body. Just as he reaches the first body part, a human leg, there comes flying through the air, a small bomb that explodes in Kaw’s face giving him a beak full o’ shrapnel. There on the ceiling crouched a small hafling man snickering into his hand. * Before anybody can react, about six other persons in cultist robes slime out from under the table and prepare for battle. ''' * '''ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!a * “I love rabies!” Aigee informs the group as though it is the most important thing he’s ever said. * Ignoring the goo guy, the bois begin combatting the arduous agents of Urgathoa. Skimp darts forward toward the wall where he climbed up to confront the hafling man. While Kaw uses his new flabby skin wings to fly up to flank him. The Hafling, seeing that he is in a considerable amount of danger, gulps down a potion and transforms into a cloud of gas. Skimp and Kaw are not about to let their prey escape so, clutching their bindles, they scoop up the gas as it utters a quiet gassy yelp of terror. ' * '''The rest of the Bois go for the men on the ground with an almost holy fervor. First they try to attack the creepy mesmerist staring at them from the corner but he runs away like a little girl scared of a spider so they start mowing down the others. ' * 'Whilst killing the little minions, both Skimp and Bongo are stared at hard and they start hearing colors and tasting sounds. Skimp can’t help himself and he falls down on the floor and sprints for a small cranny in the wall, REEEEEing all the while. It was a fantasmic REEEEEEEE that tasted of the finest McCroissant, after soaking in the soapy shower-water with Da Da during the coveted shower-time. ' * '''Skimp is in ecstasy as he continues his autistic screech in the nook and doesn’t notice that Aigee-Gorg has found the creepy-eyed bugger and is beating him down. Before Aigee can land the killing blow however, Kaw swooces in to take a pot shot with his rifle. * Skimp returns to his life on the plantation where he slips in his own filth on a blood covered mat in the nutshack and is often beaten with whips, much to his pleasure, by Kaw’s mechanical leg whip as Gorg's Fantasies plays, is what Aigee, the child molester fantasizes about in that moment, a demented grin creeping across his face. He does nothing else but stand there and look at the dirty rat, who reminds him of his papa, who could do nothing in the battle but squirm in a corner. “Hold me Daddy,” says Aigee trying to grab Skimp. “AWAY FROM ME PEASANT,” bellows Skimp who is slightly disturbed by this sudden turn of events. * Amidst the chaos, BIG Nadine booshes a handful of foes straight into the void with his Great Hammer Cleave. Bongo, in his Horum form, is completely disoriented by the filthy mesmerist. In his addled state, Horum Bongo tries multiple times to zap the mesmerist with a Scorching Ray. Kaw has had ENOUGH. He swoops down from the air and slashes at the mesmerist with his scythe, but misses completely and crashes into the corner, where he squirms like a shrimp in a puddle of oil. ' * '''Bongo shoots a final Scorching Ray, desperately hoping it hits, which bounces off the wall, strikes his mechanical eye, bounces off and hits the mesmerist right in his large, oily nose, scorching the fiend in an instant, reducing the villain to a heap of steaming croissants, fresh for Papa’s plate. ' * '''With the enemies vanquished and victory achieved, Kaw gladly starts gorging himself on the corpses, both old and fresh. Aigee quickly follows suit (like a wee lad following his father’s lead) and starts chowing down. The non-cannibal Bois can only watch as the two nastiest members of the party do the dirty until they hear a yelp of pain from Kaw as he bites down on a large red sphere identical to the one now at the bottom of Aigee’s bindle amongst all the potions and slime and scraps of human skin. * “Hey dat one looks like the one in here,” Aigee manages to choke out through the flesh and points into his nasty sack. * Skimp snatches both of the crystals and mentions that these would fit the empty eye sockets of the maggot statue back in the main swamp room. The four men and Aigee go back to the slimy maggot and they fit perfectly. * There is a low rumbling as the colossal figure of a skeleton emerges from the wall and tears away the maggot, carelessly tossing it into the dirty swamp water where it belongs. Then the big boi reaches down and rips a hole in the ground revealing a staircase down into the deep, dark underbelly of Korvinox’s castle. * The session ends, and Spencer Hamilton a.k.a. Ahh-gee-grorgee returns the smelly dice-bottle to its rightful owner, Jacob Chapman a.k.a. Kawkrooguitar. ' * '“You made me a molester!” -Spencer Hamilton, 2018 * SESSION END!